The Wino in London at 5 A.M. on Sunday morning.

Amy Winehouse has got one hand on her tongue and the other on her breast because _________.

[Image via Pacific Coast News Online.]

Say hello to Conrad!

Nicky Hilton took her little bro to the polo matches in the Hamptons this past weekend.

Cuz that's what the blue bloods do - go to polo matches and get DUIs!

[Image by Iris Zimmerman Buzz Foto.]

Left: Lindsay's ex, Courtenay Semel. Right: Amy Winehouse.

Jessica Simpson performed at her first proper country show this past weekend and things did not go as she would have liked.

When the wannabe country singer took to the stage at the Country Thunder Festival in Twin Lakes, Wisconsin, on Saturday night, she was greeted with a warm welcome of boos, reports the local paper.

And, her reviews were less than stellar!

"Many audience members found her attempt to crossover into country irritating and that her vocals lacked a southern sound," says one critic.

Poor Jess.

Have another doughnut!

[Image via Mavrix Online.]

After pAArtying together in NYC, LezLo and saMAN Ronson took their Sapphic sophistication to the Hamptons.

The loved-up twosome were seen up and down East Hampton, Long Island, this weekend.

The gal pals did lots of shopping and were general douches to everyone.

Numerous readers tell us that Lindsay refused to sign any autographs or take pictures with anyone, even little kids.

So not cool!

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A sheep and a goat are escorted out of the Kabbalah center in New York City on Saturday.

What the fuck????????

No, seriously.

WTF???????? WTF???????? WTF????????
WTF???????? WTF???????? WTF????????
WTF???????? WTF???????? WTF????????

[Image via WENN.]

Before her relationship with samMAN Ronson became what it is today, Lindsay Lohan was living with her very close gal pal Courtenay Semel (pictured above).

Courtenay, it's no secret, is a lezbot.

In fact, Semel has currently "turned" another former straight to the gay side.

Semel is said to be dating Johnson & Johnson heiress and plastic-faced Casey Johnson.

But, Lindsay came first!

The pair seem to have ended things badly, though. As LezLo and Courtenay don't seem to even be friends any more. The two haven't been spotted in public together in months.

saMAN probably put the kibosh on that!

P.S. If things with Casey don't work out, Coutenay and Rumer Willis should totally date!

Wouldn't they make a cute couple????

[Image via WENN.]

Any possible hope NBC had of retaining Jay Leno at their network has now completely vanished.

In an unusual move, the talk show titan has finally proclaimed publicly that he is done with the peacock network next year, when they are forcing him to leave The Tonight Show for Conan O'Brien.

In a new interview, Leno says:

"I am definitely done next year — with NBC. I'm not a beach guy, and the last time I was in my pool was to fix a light. Don't worry, I'll find a job somewhere."

Getting fired from NBC was probably the best move for Leno and television.

He'll make mad money on ABC (or Fox) and now TV will have a third show at 11:35 P.M.

Woo hoo!

The Dark Knight is the new box office king.

Exceeding initial expectations, the film went on to shatter records left and right this weekend.

The most notable: the new Batman film is now the biggest debut ever in U.S. box office history, especially impressive for an opening on a non-holiday weekend.

The Dark Knight took in $155.34 million Fri-Sun.

That bests Spider-Man 3's 151.1 million in 2007.

Did U see the film???

Thoughts????